Master Key Experience – Week 22a

Sometimes life is just a challenge, even though that’s a ‘woe is me’ excuse, but then I am human after all…

I cannot promise you that you will be inspired to change your life after reading this, but it will tell you that despite the years of doing my best to be positive, spending an intense 5 months on the Master Key principles, I have reached a point in life where right now, nothing matters.

So it seems…

I look at my daily reads, my flash cards, my gratitude cards, MKE teachings, and all I do daily, and I am disinterested. I am not motivated at all to do anything that helps me further my purpose.

Is that shameful or just human?

Everything is a struggle. I am so exceptionally fatigued, basic life is an effort. I’m only existing right now and doing what I have to do. Nothing else.

My mentor says it’s the result of the strong anti-biotic and forced recovery I had to take after my recent operation. It was a rough week with only being able to use one arm and hand. I should be grateful that I had everything else to use. But I cannot even find the gratitude.

Blogging normally comes easily to me, even the topics, but I this week I couldn’t find anything positive or nice to say. My one sister says I should see someone. I am such a curmudgeon at the moment, even that someone would recoil and bolt for the nearest hole, much like a frightened rabbit. They may even cry. Trust me I know, I know how to manipulate people’s minds for fun and profit…

So it’s best I remain silent to myself, and try to work this malaise out for myself.

Does this mean that I have no new mindset blueprint in place? No new habits? No new neural peptides? Would a lobotomy help? Or even a few brisk head slaps? Said very tongue in cheek.

What is it? As my brother in law is prone to say.

I have asked the Universe to assist or to kindly give some answers this week, but nothing is coming. Yet.

I know, I know, remember, don’t waste your breath, you are preaching to the converted.

The good thing is I am out of that horrible arm bandage with the splint. That was a nightmare. I still have some pain now and again, but at least I can shower properly. Look at that, I say superciliously and sarcastically, I have 2 things to be grateful for.

I’m trying to do some work on the upcoming online course I am creating, and even that is not inspiring me.

Trying is lying…

If I have down days I normally allow it. But this is a down week. And then some. Should I allow more? Is it a valid excuse to hide behind the operation and recovery?

Is any excuse valid?

So, I will allow a little more ‘woe is me’ down time, and reset myself like a wind up toy so that I can return to my daily promises and continue onward towards the purpose of my life.

Sometimes life is just that… a challenge…

I’m not someone who won’t get up again, so watch this space.

I am sure that I am human after all…

In gratitude, respect and love

❤️

Author: marcam22

Creating a life of self mastery as best I can. And then helping others with the teachings.

16 thoughts on “Master Key Experience – Week 22a”

  1. No preaching, just my gratitude to you for your writing, for sharing, in good times and bad. I empathize that your situation may now be even more difficult than mine was not so long ago. Even as you admired my stalwartness, I now admire yours.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Holding the space and waiting for you when you are ready. Life’s traumas can stretch our minds so hard, so far, to a breaking point. The pain point. What lies beyond that. It’s ok to sit there. Right in front of it. Till you find the strength again. I offer no platitudes. Just letting you know you are seen and being human is inspiring because sometimes shit just takes a lot to get through and it isnt always pretty. But that’s where we shine through, no matter what you think. Your soul, despite your Curmudgeon and gravity. You are allowed not to be a Polyanna. What the hell. Shit is hard. But you are not alone, despite the desire to contract. You’ve already inspired me, you couldn’t help it. You dont have to inspire for everyone all the time or ever again if you don’t want to. Take the breath for yourself. I for one, will be holding space and waiting but only insofar as you want or need.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Mark I don’t know what it is but what you just wrote is how I’ve been feeling for past 2 weeks, disengaged, only putting 60% effort in. One thing for me that has changed is that I believe and it doesn’t let it get me down for to long is that I now believe that I can leave yesterday behind me and treat the new day as a new slate and not worry about that I wasted yesterday because I have today. We are all human our challenges are what make us stronger. I believe in you and your strength you got this my friend. I hope I made sense, sometimes I just go on lol. Feel better. You are whole perfect strong powerful loving harmonious healthy and happy.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Mark, you say you don’t know what to blog about. Well, you said a whole lot in that blog this week. Remember, that in the stillness, when we don’t have the answers, things are going on behind the scenes. We are changing inside even if we don’t realize it. The subby is hard at work at all times. I have no doubt that you are going to rise over this!! You will be stronger because of this situation. Who knows, maybe you are feeling this or going through this to be empathetic for someone else one day. Life works in mysterious ways. PEACE Mark!!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Thank you Mark for being so honest & vulnerable,
    like you most of us are going through some thing, but you have a bit of a hump to climb & you will, as you only need your feet not your arms to do that!

    My thoughts of Peace & Joy go to you!

    Liked by 2 people

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