Sometimes life is just a challenge, even though that’s a ‘woe is me’ excuse, but then I am human after all…
I cannot promise you that you will be inspired to change your life after reading this, but it will tell you that despite the years of doing my best to be positive, spending an intense 5 months on the Master Key principles, I have reached a point in life where right now, nothing matters.
So it seems…
I look at my daily reads, my flash cards, my gratitude cards, MKE teachings, and all I do daily, and I am disinterested. I am not motivated at all to do anything that helps me further my purpose.
Is that shameful or just human?
Everything is a struggle. I am so exceptionally fatigued, basic life is an effort. I’m only existing right now and doing what I have to do. Nothing else.
My mentor says it’s the result of the strong anti-biotic and forced recovery I had to take after my recent operation. It was a rough week with only being able to use one arm and hand. I should be grateful that I had everything else to use. But I cannot even find the gratitude.
Blogging normally comes easily to me, even the topics, but I this week I couldn’t find anything positive or nice to say. My one sister says I should see someone. I am such a curmudgeon at the moment, even that someone would recoil and bolt for the nearest hole, much like a frightened rabbit. They may even cry. Trust me I know, I know how to manipulate people’s minds for fun and profit…
So it’s best I remain silent to myself, and try to work this malaise out for myself.
Does this mean that I have no new mindset blueprint in place? No new habits? No new neural peptides? Would a lobotomy help? Or even a few brisk head slaps? Said very tongue in cheek.
What is it? As my brother in law is prone to say.
I have asked the Universe to assist or to kindly give some answers this week, but nothing is coming. Yet.
I know, I know, remember, don’t waste your breath, you are preaching to the converted.
The good thing is I am out of that horrible arm bandage with the splint. That was a nightmare. I still have some pain now and again, but at least I can shower properly. Look at that, I say superciliously and sarcastically, I have 2 things to be grateful for.
I’m trying to do some work on the upcoming online course I am creating, and even that is not inspiring me.
Trying is lying…
If I have down days I normally allow it. But this is a down week. And then some. Should I allow more? Is it a valid excuse to hide behind the operation and recovery?
Is any excuse valid?
So, I will allow a little more ‘woe is me’ down time, and reset myself like a wind up toy so that I can return to my daily promises and continue onward towards the purpose of my life.
Sometimes life is just that… a challenge…
I’m not someone who won’t get up again, so watch this space.
I am sure that I am human after all…
In gratitude, respect and love